August 2003, I was pass national examination to finish high school, I was so excited and my family and relative they were so proud of my life. For finishing high school it was not my goal for my education during that time, I wanted to finish bachelor degree. So for continued to study at university my father had contacted one guy who had relative living at the city for my accommodation. So what I had thought about my place at the city that I will stay is the place provided by non-government organization (NGO) for students from provinces to stay. What I had thought it completely difference, it was the place rented by the church for students to stay that Cambodian people normally call Jesus-Religion place.
My family and I and majority of Cambodian people we are Buddhists. My forefathers all generation they were Buddhists too. But when I looked deep into my family belief, I found that they are deep believed to Hindu and mix with Buddhism. One of my grandfather, during his generation, he was the well-know one in the community as Kru-Khmer that mean he use the magical formula to heal sickness of people in the community and he and other forefathers use to be Buddhist-monk. My family and I, we never persecuted or dissatisfy other religions because we think that all religions are good and teach people the righteousness and to be a good life. So for Christianity we thought the same way but we had heard some stories that we weren’t agreeing with, like if we commit sin how can Jesus forgive our sin? And other stories…
The word “Jesus” I don’t remember when I heard this word or this name but I know that I heard since I was a young. When I was a young I got a grade 3rd science practice book and one page there were 2 pictures, one was Buddha and anther one was Jesus, it was teach about when we started count AD and BC. So when I lived in dormitory of the church at the city I wasn’t had pressure in my mind or living with other Christian. A week later, my leader he made appointment to meet me and he asked me how do I think about Christian belief? So I replied what I had thought before, “all the religion is good, teach people to be good and righteous.” So he explanted what Christian believed about and asked me to pray, so I did, that was the sinner prayer.
Even though I had prayed the sinner prayer there wasn’t something changing in my life. And I was become a new converted religious man and wanted to know more about that religion for to answer the question which had before. I am kind of a serving person, so I had serve many parts of the church, like ushering, teaching English and teaching of Jesus Christ to factory workers. So what I had done show that I was a good religious man. My life wasn’t changing and that time I had a thought “I am good enough, No need something else.” The reasons are: I am a good son, a good student, a good conduct, I have a good family and I never did bad thing or committed crime.
Through Bible study group and personal in the church, the word of God spoke to my heart and shown me that I was a hypocrite person. Some bad thing I never do it but I thought of it, some good thing that I want to do but I can’t do it. God had shown me something deep in my heart like bitterness, unforgiving, anger and lustful heart. And I know that the result of that thing is death. So I really need someone to help me to get out. And I found that the word “Enough” is the blocker from me and the living God. The moment I knew I was a sinner and I knew that Jesus is the Savior of the world that moment I gave my life to Jesus Christ that the true repentant of my life.
After I gave my life to the Jesus Christ and asked him as my Lord and Savior my life started changing. So Christian believed is not religion any more but it is a relationship with the Living God. I started to change from negative thought to positive thought, attitude, and before living without purpose to have purpose in life and for other people. And God had restore and healing me from unforgiving and rejected. And he gave me his love and hope. And he teaches me to live life trust in him and living life fellowship with him. His word “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him” I believed that God has great plan for my life and my community.
God is my refuge, sources and answers for my life. He is the true hope. And my vision is to live life glorify and witness to him and use all my abilities to rise up and train new leaders for his kingdom and support his churches to reach the world.
Abundant Blessing,
Retkrong THET
